I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
