Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize