i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He felt like a one man threesome
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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