My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
