why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize