I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
