Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
