i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
