would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
