A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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