NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Randomize
