Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
