nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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