Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Im part way to drunk.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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