Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
There's always time for handjobs
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
