You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
