At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
