a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
