OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
