yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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