You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
My balls are so social today.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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