It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Sorry about my life...
Randomize
