I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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