it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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