Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
