theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
