no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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