Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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