I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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