He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
