Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just cut my nipple shaving
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize