I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
