Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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