Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
it glows. i had to have it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
