Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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