just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize