Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
