i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
