oh god the rape fog is back!
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
