but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize