you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
