Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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