why didn't you poke me back
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
