When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i just google imaged poop.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
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