.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
