either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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