I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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