quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
