Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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