Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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