covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
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