I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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