Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
