We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
