Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
