oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
