Pants 0. Shit 1.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
