Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
