Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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