the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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