I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
