her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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