somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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