They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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