I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
